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Tips to Help When Writing Your Vows

July 11, 2016 by The Marquardt Ranch

The decision to write your own wedding vows is a major one. While there is nothing wrong with traditional vows, more and more couples are choosing to create their own unique and personalized promises. Nevertheless, actually putting these vows together can be a daunting task! If writing your own vows is something that you and your partner have chosen to do, here are ten tips to help you through the process: 

1. Be True To Yourself

Keep your vows an honest reflection of who you are as a couple. Don’t put on an act for your audience! Let your words to your beloved be genuine and open—after all, they are the only person those words are really for.

2. Take Notes

During your engagement, keep a small notebook with you and jot down the things that you love most about your significant other. Maybe it’s the way his face lights up when he’s talking about his hobby. Maybe it’s the way her smile greets a sunrise. Whatever the case may be, write it down! When the time comes to put the pen to paper and write your vows, you’ll find that you have plenty of inspiration with which to begin.

3. Write It Down

Memorization is all well and good, but it never hurts to have a backup. Write your vows down and keep them on hand during your ceremony just in case you need to reference them. Writing your vows down also gives you and your sweetheart the opportunity to create lasting mementos of your special day, so why not take the time to make them a keepsake?

4. Find Your Muse

Look to the world around you for inspiration! Read poetry, listen to the love stories of your friends and family, take note of moving lyrics—whatever you find, it never hurts to have a few favorites to turn to.

5. Ask for Advice

Seeking wisdom is commendable—ask some of your favorite married couples for one piece of marriage advice. Not only will you gain perspective, you might even discover something that you want to write into your vows!

6. Be Mindful of Your Audience

While ultimately your words are only for yourself and your darling, do be aware that there are people sharing your special day with you. Avoid oversharing or saying something potentially embarrassing. A good rule of thumb to follow: If you wouldn’t say it in front of your grandma, don’t include it.

7. Practice

Proper preparation prevents poor performance. This adage is applicable to your vows as much as anything else—the last thing anyone wants to do is make a mistake when uttering their vows. The best way to keep this from happening is to rehearse!

8. Make Promises You Can Keep

And on the flip side, don’t make promises you won’t keep. Your vows are something you will remember forever, so make sure that what you promise are things with which you will actually follow through. For example, it might not be the best idea to say that you’ll make your partner’s favorite meal once a week—some nights you might want to order take-out instead.

9. Embrace Your Emotions

It’s okay to cry. Some of the sweetest and most touching moments happen when couples tear up!

10. Tokens of Remembrance

Consider having your completed vows made into a keepsake. Whether you have your favorite calligrapher pen a copy to frame or you and your partner craft the memento yourself, making your vows into a lasting display piece can help them stay fresh in your mind as you continue on into your lives together.

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